I'm so full of humiliation and filth

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim

In the name of Allah The Most Compassionate The Merciful

When I'm writing this, I am so full of disgust of myself. I feel like an empty shell. I could feel how hollow my heart is.
I have started working in a new job, in a hotel line. And it's almost 2 months down the line. And no sooner than now had I started asking myself: "Am I going to live my life like this? Chasing after money? What if I could never make it enough? Until when am I going to be like this?"
I was so happy when I got in. But now, I feel like I have lost all my purpose. I feel heavily anxious and weary. Constantly on my edge and pressurized. I know the answer is simple: ALLAH. But.... in practicality, it is the toughest act to implement.
I am now part of the system and society that I despise the most: materialistic and hypocrite society!!!
True money might be important but money would never be able to bring you peace and the feeling of content. Because of money you lose your sight of what is the most important to you. It drives you away from everything good in you you used to know. Greed has replaced the sense of gratitude and sincerity. Your time has been entirely devoted just for the sake of it. Sobs...
I lost me. I lost my God-Allah.
Never had I felt more deprived of anything than right now.
Practically, it's the same as condemning how morally broken our society is- brazen act of minor sexual display (as what our youth is commonly regard as an act of love expression) on public- when you yourself unconsciously part of it. By enjoying today's media entertainments with its content of promoting free intermingling of men and women we are no different with the promoters of moral regression so mush so that moral perversion has been unconsciously penetrating and shaping today's mindset by accepting an act of minor adultery for instance holding your boyfriend's hand or allow him to kiss you is normal so long as no sex involved. Sighhh... Astaughfirullahaladzim.
I am no different either. When I am condemning such blatantly ignorant acts mentioned above, there are several things that I can't resist and deny as part of me and sadly are part of my new daily rituals: cursing and wear something revealing. Well maybe not so for some people's standards. But I can't help but being degenerated a few levels below. I am constantly surrounded with people. And most of my time taken for working. Any other spare time for my private quality is kinda hard to come by. Praying is getting ridiculously difficult and with my menses coming it is increasingly making it harder to remember Him. And the distance is kinda grow and I keep on committing innumerable daily "little" sins that I can't recall and disclose here. Sighh..
Worrying over my appearance, make up, and stuff like that. How more shallow can I get?
Naudzubillahimindzalik!!!

O Allah, truly I'm seeking refuge in you against shaitan within me that have constantly urging me to go after my desire. I am also seeking refuge in you against Shaitans outside me that are lingering and encircling me to lure and tempt me away from the way of truth and from You.
Ya Allah please help,guide, and protect me always. Please help me to fulfill my covenant with you as your servant. Don't let me go astray, for those who You guide none could misguide them, and those who You misguide none could guide them.
Ameen.