Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim
In the name of Allah The Most Compassionate The Merciful
When I'm writing this, I am so full of disgust of myself. I feel like an empty shell. I could feel how hollow my heart is.
I have started working in a new job, in a hotel line. And it's almost 2 months down the line. And no sooner than now had I started asking myself: "Am I going to live my life like this? Chasing after money? What if I could never make it enough? Until when am I going to be like this?"
I was so happy when I got in. But now, I feel like I have lost all my purpose. I feel heavily anxious and weary. Constantly on my edge and pressurized. I know the answer is simple: ALLAH. But.... in practicality, it is the toughest act to implement.
I am now part of the system and society that I despise the most: materialistic and hypocrite society!!!
True money might be important but money would never be able to bring you peace and the feeling of content. Because of money you lose your sight of what is the most important to you. It drives you away from everything good in you you used to know. Greed has replaced the sense of gratitude and sincerity. Your time has been entirely devoted just for the sake of it. Sobs...
I lost me. I lost my God-Allah.
Never had I felt more deprived of anything than right now.
Practically, it's the same as condemning how morally broken our society is- brazen act of minor sexual display (as what our youth is commonly regard as an act of love expression) on public- when you yourself unconsciously part of it. By enjoying today's media entertainments with its content of promoting free intermingling of men and women we are no different with the promoters of moral regression so mush so that moral perversion has been unconsciously penetrating and shaping today's mindset by accepting an act of minor adultery for instance holding your boyfriend's hand or allow him to kiss you is normal so long as no sex involved. Sighhh... Astaughfirullahaladzim.
I am no different either. When I am condemning such blatantly ignorant acts mentioned above, there are several things that I can't resist and deny as part of me and sadly are part of my new daily rituals: cursing and wear something revealing. Well maybe not so for some people's standards. But I can't help but being degenerated a few levels below. I am constantly surrounded with people. And most of my time taken for working. Any other spare time for my private quality is kinda hard to come by. Praying is getting ridiculously difficult and with my menses coming it is increasingly making it harder to remember Him. And the distance is kinda grow and I keep on committing innumerable daily "little" sins that I can't recall and disclose here. Sighh..
Worrying over my appearance, make up, and stuff like that. How more shallow can I get?
Naudzubillahimindzalik!!!
O Allah, truly I'm seeking refuge in you against shaitan within me that have constantly urging me to go after my desire. I am also seeking refuge in you against Shaitans outside me that are lingering and encircling me to lure and tempt me away from the way of truth and from You.
Ya Allah please help,guide, and protect me always. Please help me to fulfill my covenant with you as your servant. Don't let me go astray, for those who You guide none could misguide them, and those who You misguide none could guide them.
Ameen.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Greek Financial Meltdown
In the name of Allah The most Compassionate The most Merciful
Let's all started with Greek economy who's in the brink of bankruptcy and has to be bailed out by the EU. There are several lessons to be drawn from it.
EU was formed amidst the rife of Asian financial crisis in the mid 90's. It was formed solely for the purpose of fortifying EU against often-most frivolous market speculators. Asian market was enjoying increase on it's economy especially in the area of exports and investments. This economic clout emboldened most of Asian regions to undertake excessive loans which amounting to billions in the form of greenback as lending in the form of dollar was deemed cheaper than their own respective currencies. Buoyed by booming market confidence, massive risk taking was viewed necessary for the sake of growth. But Asian market didn't see a pack of opportunists speculators coming their way. These speculators homed in on Asian vulnerabilities in its regions ability in paying back the loans. What happened was these bunch of bettors placed a bet on which Asian region would default on its payment of loan. As we know in the sensitive and complex nature of market (shares, stocks , and other derivatives), investors were very much wary about the news and it's inexplicably affected the share values in Asia to plummet which inexorably saw Asia to be embroiled with massive financial crisis. Each Asian region tried to divert the attention of the bettors and tried not to make themselves the target of speculation by adopting the policy of "beggar your neighbor" by helping their neighbor by the provision of credit, but well they're still targeted nonetheless.
From this experience, EU was formed to make various European currencies into one- Euro as to safeguard the EU against such speculators that could undermine their economy. By far, new EU policy of adopting one single currency (with great Britain as an exception) with low credit rating between members would be a perfect way out, and huge crisis in the future that could shake the entire members would be very much unlikely. But what we see today is a stark contrast of any optimistic predictions cast over a decade ago.
In the beginning, it all runs well. With Greece enjoyed the benefit of being member, its shipping and tourism sectors were practically flourishing. Its economy was expanding in a rapid growth. EU felt secured and thought nothing bad could come their way. Very much in a state of complacency. However, after the 2008 US recession which saw the slowing down of credit and investments worldwide, Greek was adversely affected. It was revealed that Greece suffered a deficit of 14% of its GDP with amounting public debt of 115% from its GDP. It needs bailout asap, otherwise the country is going to be declared bankrupt.
The main problem of Greece is that to be a member of EU, it had to have a deficit of at least 3% from its GDP. What it did to be a member was massaging the numbers in its ledger account to get them balanced. Another thing was it was full of corrupt government officials with low productivity but receive overpay wages. These factors coupled with small government income from tax as many people especially the riches evading paying the taxes by not declaring their income were a good combination that force Greece to reel.
Knowing the truth about this angered EU so much. But by not helping Greece could only mean the crisis might spread out to other EU weak members (Ireland, Portugal, and Spain) and would potentially bring about potentially catastrophic destruction of EU economic integrity and sovereignty. So in the end, other wealthy EU members were prompted to create a help body wichh oversee a provision of 110 billion euro access fund for troubled members and special fund for Greece with conditions imposed: Greece has to reduced its deficit by curbing its spending on armed weaponry and laying out 10,000 workers from the bloated government institutions, effectively pulling out any bonuses and pensions benefits. It also has to increase the income by increasing the tax revenues and penalizing the tax dodgers. Of course not without civil unrest and mayhem ensue.
Speculators with its opportunistic nature right now seizing this moment on betting whether Greek would be able to withstand this austerity measure and pull it through or it would perpetually default on its payment. Alas, for right now, investors are increasingly jittery, a mere blow could impact future European market. Share prices right now nosedive into God knows how many points and Euro currency seeing its weakest points in history. Numerous measures about EU policies and its stance on recalcitrant members are viewed with weary interest by the investors and economy analysts alike.
The point right now is that, nothing is definite. Universe is governed by some invisible and uncontrollable forces that beyond humans power to oversee or prevent or comprehend despite more advanced and sophisticated state-of-the-art technologies in this era. Qoran has clearly admonish the people to stay away from greed and to spend on the charity of Allah. And interest loans in the form of stocks or derivatives or usury are clearly forbidden.
"Lakhaula walaakuwwata illabillaah" - there's no other power greater than Allah. No one could intercede or change Allah decision or will. Everything simply happens by the leave or permission of Allah. I bear witness that Qoran was sent down by Allah to His messenger Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him) and it is stating the truth. I bear witness that there's no other God worth worshiping beside Allah. He is the One and only. And Muhammmad Rasulullah was His final messenger. Ya Allah in you I have faith and believe in. Please guide and protect me from the eternal hellfire. Amiin.
Let's all started with Greek economy who's in the brink of bankruptcy and has to be bailed out by the EU. There are several lessons to be drawn from it.
EU was formed amidst the rife of Asian financial crisis in the mid 90's. It was formed solely for the purpose of fortifying EU against often-most frivolous market speculators. Asian market was enjoying increase on it's economy especially in the area of exports and investments. This economic clout emboldened most of Asian regions to undertake excessive loans which amounting to billions in the form of greenback as lending in the form of dollar was deemed cheaper than their own respective currencies. Buoyed by booming market confidence, massive risk taking was viewed necessary for the sake of growth. But Asian market didn't see a pack of opportunists speculators coming their way. These speculators homed in on Asian vulnerabilities in its regions ability in paying back the loans. What happened was these bunch of bettors placed a bet on which Asian region would default on its payment of loan. As we know in the sensitive and complex nature of market (shares, stocks , and other derivatives), investors were very much wary about the news and it's inexplicably affected the share values in Asia to plummet which inexorably saw Asia to be embroiled with massive financial crisis. Each Asian region tried to divert the attention of the bettors and tried not to make themselves the target of speculation by adopting the policy of "beggar your neighbor" by helping their neighbor by the provision of credit, but well they're still targeted nonetheless.
From this experience, EU was formed to make various European currencies into one- Euro as to safeguard the EU against such speculators that could undermine their economy. By far, new EU policy of adopting one single currency (with great Britain as an exception) with low credit rating between members would be a perfect way out, and huge crisis in the future that could shake the entire members would be very much unlikely. But what we see today is a stark contrast of any optimistic predictions cast over a decade ago.
In the beginning, it all runs well. With Greece enjoyed the benefit of being member, its shipping and tourism sectors were practically flourishing. Its economy was expanding in a rapid growth. EU felt secured and thought nothing bad could come their way. Very much in a state of complacency. However, after the 2008 US recession which saw the slowing down of credit and investments worldwide, Greek was adversely affected. It was revealed that Greece suffered a deficit of 14% of its GDP with amounting public debt of 115% from its GDP. It needs bailout asap, otherwise the country is going to be declared bankrupt.
The main problem of Greece is that to be a member of EU, it had to have a deficit of at least 3% from its GDP. What it did to be a member was massaging the numbers in its ledger account to get them balanced. Another thing was it was full of corrupt government officials with low productivity but receive overpay wages. These factors coupled with small government income from tax as many people especially the riches evading paying the taxes by not declaring their income were a good combination that force Greece to reel.
Knowing the truth about this angered EU so much. But by not helping Greece could only mean the crisis might spread out to other EU weak members (Ireland, Portugal, and Spain) and would potentially bring about potentially catastrophic destruction of EU economic integrity and sovereignty. So in the end, other wealthy EU members were prompted to create a help body wichh oversee a provision of 110 billion euro access fund for troubled members and special fund for Greece with conditions imposed: Greece has to reduced its deficit by curbing its spending on armed weaponry and laying out 10,000 workers from the bloated government institutions, effectively pulling out any bonuses and pensions benefits. It also has to increase the income by increasing the tax revenues and penalizing the tax dodgers. Of course not without civil unrest and mayhem ensue.
Speculators with its opportunistic nature right now seizing this moment on betting whether Greek would be able to withstand this austerity measure and pull it through or it would perpetually default on its payment. Alas, for right now, investors are increasingly jittery, a mere blow could impact future European market. Share prices right now nosedive into God knows how many points and Euro currency seeing its weakest points in history. Numerous measures about EU policies and its stance on recalcitrant members are viewed with weary interest by the investors and economy analysts alike.
The point right now is that, nothing is definite. Universe is governed by some invisible and uncontrollable forces that beyond humans power to oversee or prevent or comprehend despite more advanced and sophisticated state-of-the-art technologies in this era. Qoran has clearly admonish the people to stay away from greed and to spend on the charity of Allah. And interest loans in the form of stocks or derivatives or usury are clearly forbidden.
"Lakhaula walaakuwwata illabillaah" - there's no other power greater than Allah. No one could intercede or change Allah decision or will. Everything simply happens by the leave or permission of Allah. I bear witness that Qoran was sent down by Allah to His messenger Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him) and it is stating the truth. I bear witness that there's no other God worth worshiping beside Allah. He is the One and only. And Muhammmad Rasulullah was His final messenger. Ya Allah in you I have faith and believe in. Please guide and protect me from the eternal hellfire. Amiin.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Allah Encompasses Everything
Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim..
In the name of Allah The Most Compassionate The Merciful
I just watched a video about the angels and the jinns by Dr Bilal Philip. Alhamdulillah through there Allah show me how we as muslims should conduct ourselves accordingly by His law as decreed in the Quran. We as muslims believe in Allah, indisputably about his majestic and divine power. We are created solely in this world to submit to him to glorify him. Everything from our health, our foods, clothing, parents, knowledge, and numerous things are all come from Him. Allah's compassion and mercy are far greater and vast than the ocean and the sky. Had he wanted it to punish the disbelievers He could do so by giving them His scourge instead of his bounties.
Now, pertaining to the world of the unseen, we know nothing but a little. What we see through magic or any form of miracles are nothing but the doing of the jinns to deceive and mislead us from Allah.. Naudzubillah. Therefore do not associate yourself with any form of protection or magic associated with jinns. In some cases, people would say that they are receiving the help from Muslim jinn. Still fact of the matter is, Allah alone knows about the world of the unseen, do not try to jeopardize your belief by taking something that we don't even have a knowledge of. Truly I'm seeking refuge in Allah against shaitan and his minions who create mischief on this earth.
Anyhow, another lesson I drawn today is that we do not even know about the world of the unseen for instance amoeba and any microbiological things until only few decades ago that microscope was found. In it we could draw a lesson. Allah's knowledge encompasses everything. He truly is the Lord of the seen and the unseen, The Sustainer, The Mantainer. His prowess far exalted beyond anything and I bear witness that there's no other God beside Allah and prophet Muhammad (saw) is His messenger. Ya Allah, guide me always. Do not let me go astray, and do not let me fear any other beings beside you. Amiin...
In the name of Allah The Most Compassionate The Merciful
I just watched a video about the angels and the jinns by Dr Bilal Philip. Alhamdulillah through there Allah show me how we as muslims should conduct ourselves accordingly by His law as decreed in the Quran. We as muslims believe in Allah, indisputably about his majestic and divine power. We are created solely in this world to submit to him to glorify him. Everything from our health, our foods, clothing, parents, knowledge, and numerous things are all come from Him. Allah's compassion and mercy are far greater and vast than the ocean and the sky. Had he wanted it to punish the disbelievers He could do so by giving them His scourge instead of his bounties.
Now, pertaining to the world of the unseen, we know nothing but a little. What we see through magic or any form of miracles are nothing but the doing of the jinns to deceive and mislead us from Allah.. Naudzubillah. Therefore do not associate yourself with any form of protection or magic associated with jinns. In some cases, people would say that they are receiving the help from Muslim jinn. Still fact of the matter is, Allah alone knows about the world of the unseen, do not try to jeopardize your belief by taking something that we don't even have a knowledge of. Truly I'm seeking refuge in Allah against shaitan and his minions who create mischief on this earth.
Anyhow, another lesson I drawn today is that we do not even know about the world of the unseen for instance amoeba and any microbiological things until only few decades ago that microscope was found. In it we could draw a lesson. Allah's knowledge encompasses everything. He truly is the Lord of the seen and the unseen, The Sustainer, The Mantainer. His prowess far exalted beyond anything and I bear witness that there's no other God beside Allah and prophet Muhammad (saw) is His messenger. Ya Allah, guide me always. Do not let me go astray, and do not let me fear any other beings beside you. Amiin...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Random thoughts
In the name of Allah The most compassionate The Merciful
I have to say, that being a Muslim is not an easy feast yet it is worth the hardship if what you seek is not this dunya (world). Muslim in this sense is that being someone who believe in Allah in totality, follow His admonishments from the Quran and conducting yourself according to the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). In addition, you also have to believe in the hereafter, in His angels, and ultimately in His mighty wills that He has ordained on each individual. Yet in the real life, it is hard to incorporate all these aspects into our daily ways of living. Mainly because we all are blinded by this worldly things. Media outlets aren't helping much either. Most of the shows and ads revolving around us are portraying what is desirable in this life: wealth, fame, girls, expensive stuff, luxurious housing, posh restaurants, exotic holidays, etc. In this globalized era, everything is expected to be upgraded into internationally accepted standard. People are judge solely by their appearances not by their substance. Money is being worshiped and feared. Rich thugs could earn a respect and adoration hence regarding them as part of the circle of the high echelon of the society based on suferficial things and hypocrisy.
I used to be part of this judgmental society. I was so proud to be someone with a blend of eastern modesty and culture yet at the same time I was equally proud to be exposed to the western value and way of thinking which used to be associated with liberty and democracy. I used to frown upon sisters in Islam on their decision to put on headcover. My thinking was that they were way too young and they're actually slimming their opportunity into attaining happiness in this harsh "real world" in another word I was unconsciously thinking that they were oppressed. Another reason was also because I used to see sisters wearing hijab but hardly perform their duties as Muslimahs: hardly pray, gosipping, fondling and kissing in the public with their boyfriends. These faulty conduct of the Muslimahs was actually got into my nerve that I have sworn to never wear headcover unless I've become an old lady and wise enough to wear them. But my wisdom proven to be wrong. Alhamdulillah through the guidance of Allah the Almighty I realized about the truth. He made me to stumble upon The Deen Show on youtube on the Muslim converts on how happy and relieved they are after reverting back to Islam. On why Islam is the way of life. It suddenly occurred to me that why these former unbelievers could be so deep in their love, trust, and devotion to Allah while me as a born Muslim, schooled in the surrounding Islamic teaching could actually deviate from the truth in many ways. Long story short, Allah shows His will by permitting me a chance to read the translation of the Holy Quran and through exposure of the piety and righteous people that I finally accept His revelation.
Alhamdulillah, right now I am in a much better state of peace and tranquility. Although occasional relapse did and does occur in many instances. For example, I haven't wear hijab yet because of professional reason. I am an unemployed immigrant with no prior English educational background. I have a mom I am obliged to help. I'm so badly wanting to wear hijab but my current circumstances not allowing me too. I also suffered from an inferiority complex when my cousins who are basically real citizens of this country do well and I tend to compare myself with them in term of everything. Bad thoughts did occur to me too that all the misfortunes that befall on me may be caused by Allah forsaking me. Astaughfirullah. Essentially, my faith still need a lot more tweaking for it does falter occasionally. But My Rabb, I seek refuge in you against anything that could lead me away from your guidance.
I have to say, that being a Muslim is not an easy feast yet it is worth the hardship if what you seek is not this dunya (world). Muslim in this sense is that being someone who believe in Allah in totality, follow His admonishments from the Quran and conducting yourself according to the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). In addition, you also have to believe in the hereafter, in His angels, and ultimately in His mighty wills that He has ordained on each individual. Yet in the real life, it is hard to incorporate all these aspects into our daily ways of living. Mainly because we all are blinded by this worldly things. Media outlets aren't helping much either. Most of the shows and ads revolving around us are portraying what is desirable in this life: wealth, fame, girls, expensive stuff, luxurious housing, posh restaurants, exotic holidays, etc. In this globalized era, everything is expected to be upgraded into internationally accepted standard. People are judge solely by their appearances not by their substance. Money is being worshiped and feared. Rich thugs could earn a respect and adoration hence regarding them as part of the circle of the high echelon of the society based on suferficial things and hypocrisy.
I used to be part of this judgmental society. I was so proud to be someone with a blend of eastern modesty and culture yet at the same time I was equally proud to be exposed to the western value and way of thinking which used to be associated with liberty and democracy. I used to frown upon sisters in Islam on their decision to put on headcover. My thinking was that they were way too young and they're actually slimming their opportunity into attaining happiness in this harsh "real world" in another word I was unconsciously thinking that they were oppressed. Another reason was also because I used to see sisters wearing hijab but hardly perform their duties as Muslimahs: hardly pray, gosipping, fondling and kissing in the public with their boyfriends. These faulty conduct of the Muslimahs was actually got into my nerve that I have sworn to never wear headcover unless I've become an old lady and wise enough to wear them. But my wisdom proven to be wrong. Alhamdulillah through the guidance of Allah the Almighty I realized about the truth. He made me to stumble upon The Deen Show on youtube on the Muslim converts on how happy and relieved they are after reverting back to Islam. On why Islam is the way of life. It suddenly occurred to me that why these former unbelievers could be so deep in their love, trust, and devotion to Allah while me as a born Muslim, schooled in the surrounding Islamic teaching could actually deviate from the truth in many ways. Long story short, Allah shows His will by permitting me a chance to read the translation of the Holy Quran and through exposure of the piety and righteous people that I finally accept His revelation.
Alhamdulillah, right now I am in a much better state of peace and tranquility. Although occasional relapse did and does occur in many instances. For example, I haven't wear hijab yet because of professional reason. I am an unemployed immigrant with no prior English educational background. I have a mom I am obliged to help. I'm so badly wanting to wear hijab but my current circumstances not allowing me too. I also suffered from an inferiority complex when my cousins who are basically real citizens of this country do well and I tend to compare myself with them in term of everything. Bad thoughts did occur to me too that all the misfortunes that befall on me may be caused by Allah forsaking me. Astaughfirullah. Essentially, my faith still need a lot more tweaking for it does falter occasionally. But My Rabb, I seek refuge in you against anything that could lead me away from your guidance.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Ya Allah give me strength and courage for not faltering nor wavering for the sake of the truth!!!
Well, It's been well past 3 weeks since my last posting on this blog. A lot of things happened for instance, I just tendered my resignation from the company I had just started working with. Literally, my plans have been derailed. I realized one thing though, while we plan Allah also has His own plan. Basically our plan could never surpass His plan. Perhaps behind all these there are some silver lining.
It is all happened when I noticed that my company I'm working with is a little suspicious. for example, I went to Singapore's site of listed companies to check out about my company background. Apparently, neither my company's name nor its registration number actually listed on ACRA. Secondly, my company is actually some kind of an advisory firm which giving advice to the people who own timeshare or holiday membership package for termination of their membership. Basically my company will call the people from our database asking about their holiday membership and telling them that the timeshare right now is having a problem and they could actually terminate their contract and claim their money through the sub court. What I don't understand is that the bosses' names are essentially changed. They have numerous names on top of their real names. Happened on one occasion I tried to tell the client who inquired about the name of the boss he spoke with but my colleague who's been working longer than me in the company actually warned me against giving my boss other name. She said his other name is actually quite well known in this industry hence it creates problem. When I said "Is that supposed to be something bad?" she only denied "No" and cautioned me against ever mentioning his other name. On top of that he actually signed up with quite a number of credit cards with the billing address on the company but under different names. Well I have to say I smelled a rat here.
And thirdly and most importantly, this company actually preyed on unsuspecting timeshare holders, sweet talked them and charged them exorbitantly. When it comes to refund (as one of the case happened recently) the money that is supposed to be given back to the client is hard to be recovered. The client had to actually threaten to lodge a police report and set a deadline for the money to be transferred in order for the company to really return back the money to her.
I found dishonesty really. I know I'm not in a position to implore this so-called "dishonest" way of my company being run. But I can't help it. I know my livelihood depends on this company. I have to earn money to pay my bills and settle my debt. In addition I need to upgrade my self to an A level certificate. Money money and lots of money is needed. But I don't think I want to be involved in this. And to further deepen my conviction, one of the bosses is actually planned to defect from this company and establish his own (he even invited me over to his soon-to-be-establish company). Sighh... Fyi, the bosses are best buddies and I don't understand why best buddies could do that just to satisfy their greed of money. Anyway, my company isn't doing very well either. The client is so few and far between. Appointments mostly canceled with clients showing up hardly ended up signing a deal. Sighh... My pay last month had to be postponed for few days because of some unforeseeable circumstances.
Right now I really am in the dilemma. My mom n sis actually castigating me. Telling me how foolish I am actually to resign because of the reasons mentioned above. Well, I know I am only a receptionist cum admin assistant who hardly come into contact with the clients or will hardly actually cheat on them. But still working there would inadvertently make me involved. My money among all is actually generated from the clients' money.
Ya Allah, I really want to earn money that really is blessed by you. Halal money. And I don't want to be a subhaaad or associated to my company crime. Please please show me the way I'm begging you!! Disappointed yes but don't make me feel despair and overwhelm by this Ya Rabb The most Graceful The Merciful !!
It is all happened when I noticed that my company I'm working with is a little suspicious. for example, I went to Singapore's site of listed companies to check out about my company background. Apparently, neither my company's name nor its registration number actually listed on ACRA. Secondly, my company is actually some kind of an advisory firm which giving advice to the people who own timeshare or holiday membership package for termination of their membership. Basically my company will call the people from our database asking about their holiday membership and telling them that the timeshare right now is having a problem and they could actually terminate their contract and claim their money through the sub court. What I don't understand is that the bosses' names are essentially changed. They have numerous names on top of their real names. Happened on one occasion I tried to tell the client who inquired about the name of the boss he spoke with but my colleague who's been working longer than me in the company actually warned me against giving my boss other name. She said his other name is actually quite well known in this industry hence it creates problem. When I said "Is that supposed to be something bad?" she only denied "No" and cautioned me against ever mentioning his other name. On top of that he actually signed up with quite a number of credit cards with the billing address on the company but under different names. Well I have to say I smelled a rat here.
And thirdly and most importantly, this company actually preyed on unsuspecting timeshare holders, sweet talked them and charged them exorbitantly. When it comes to refund (as one of the case happened recently) the money that is supposed to be given back to the client is hard to be recovered. The client had to actually threaten to lodge a police report and set a deadline for the money to be transferred in order for the company to really return back the money to her.
I found dishonesty really. I know I'm not in a position to implore this so-called "dishonest" way of my company being run. But I can't help it. I know my livelihood depends on this company. I have to earn money to pay my bills and settle my debt. In addition I need to upgrade my self to an A level certificate. Money money and lots of money is needed. But I don't think I want to be involved in this. And to further deepen my conviction, one of the bosses is actually planned to defect from this company and establish his own (he even invited me over to his soon-to-be-establish company). Sighh... Fyi, the bosses are best buddies and I don't understand why best buddies could do that just to satisfy their greed of money. Anyway, my company isn't doing very well either. The client is so few and far between. Appointments mostly canceled with clients showing up hardly ended up signing a deal. Sighh... My pay last month had to be postponed for few days because of some unforeseeable circumstances.
Right now I really am in the dilemma. My mom n sis actually castigating me. Telling me how foolish I am actually to resign because of the reasons mentioned above. Well, I know I am only a receptionist cum admin assistant who hardly come into contact with the clients or will hardly actually cheat on them. But still working there would inadvertently make me involved. My money among all is actually generated from the clients' money.
Ya Allah, I really want to earn money that really is blessed by you. Halal money. And I don't want to be a subhaaad or associated to my company crime. Please please show me the way I'm begging you!! Disappointed yes but don't make me feel despair and overwhelm by this Ya Rabb The most Graceful The Merciful !!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Encouragement video
I love this particular video. So I thought of posting it on my blog. This video is about a motivational speaker who is physically deformed (birth defect kind of thing) but he's not discourage by his physical limitations and instead embarking into this life that eventually inspired him to be a motivational speaker. I think I admire him for what he did. And we could actually learn from him not to get easily demoralized and discouraged for facing a few difficulties in this life. Afterall his challenges are far greater that us. We are much much more fortunate than him.
Hope we all be a more learned and wiser person after watching this video and be more grateful with what God has given us. InshaAllah. :)
Hope we all be a more learned and wiser person after watching this video and be more grateful with what God has given us. InshaAllah. :)
God help me!
Today I went for an interview to a certain company. The reception was fine. The girl was apparently the telemarketer who acted as the front desk person. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. I like the interviewer. He was friendly. I noticed that he dressed up immaculately. He was very articulate and a good listener. He said my email and my resume caught his attention (well I'm not sure about it myself, but I think my email and resume were so so) thank God he liked it.
The interview went rather long. With him asking me to explain about myself and about my knowledge prior to the company. FYI I am applying for a front desk cum admin assistant. Lol. I know it's not high by some professional standard in term of remuneration and in the corporate social hierarchy. But I still have to be grateful to be called for an interview. He praised me by saying that I have a relatively good command in English. And said that I met the the basic requirement of being a front desk person. Alhamdulillah praise due to Allah. Although I was a little nervous with my heart thumping so fast that I thought it would eventually come out of my chest, and my occasionally faltering voice and a little slur here and there during my talk, I was gradually feeling at ease. I even cracked a little joke and we actually talk. I mean talk though not the way of the old chum, we actually(I think) got the ball rolling in a rather nice way.
He said he'll put me among short-listed candidates and would eventually call me tomorrow to inform me if I were to be chosen for this position. I pray to Allah to give me the best. I mean I am ikhlas (sincere): if this job is not meant for me, everything I did would never avail me to this job, unless it was under His permission. Truly Allah is the Almighty, the All Knowing, and the Compassionate. Ya Allah, please reveal to me the right and best way for me, so that I could venture into this way under Your blessings and protections.. Amien..
Anyway, I have to start planning with what I am going to do with the money and to improve my life. Mainly, I wanted the money to be saved in a bank for the purpose of funding my "A Level"ambition. Yes. I intended to go for an A level course and subsequently go to the local university pursuing degree in economy or anthropology. Hope Allah will show me the way. It is very difficult for me to enter local universities. Hope one day my dream could be achieved. Sigh. For now I could only pray. I'll do my best effort to save some money first. God help me!
The interview went rather long. With him asking me to explain about myself and about my knowledge prior to the company. FYI I am applying for a front desk cum admin assistant. Lol. I know it's not high by some professional standard in term of remuneration and in the corporate social hierarchy. But I still have to be grateful to be called for an interview. He praised me by saying that I have a relatively good command in English. And said that I met the the basic requirement of being a front desk person. Alhamdulillah praise due to Allah. Although I was a little nervous with my heart thumping so fast that I thought it would eventually come out of my chest, and my occasionally faltering voice and a little slur here and there during my talk, I was gradually feeling at ease. I even cracked a little joke and we actually talk. I mean talk though not the way of the old chum, we actually(I think) got the ball rolling in a rather nice way.
He said he'll put me among short-listed candidates and would eventually call me tomorrow to inform me if I were to be chosen for this position. I pray to Allah to give me the best. I mean I am ikhlas (sincere): if this job is not meant for me, everything I did would never avail me to this job, unless it was under His permission. Truly Allah is the Almighty, the All Knowing, and the Compassionate. Ya Allah, please reveal to me the right and best way for me, so that I could venture into this way under Your blessings and protections.. Amien..
Anyway, I have to start planning with what I am going to do with the money and to improve my life. Mainly, I wanted the money to be saved in a bank for the purpose of funding my "A Level"ambition. Yes. I intended to go for an A level course and subsequently go to the local university pursuing degree in economy or anthropology. Hope Allah will show me the way. It is very difficult for me to enter local universities. Hope one day my dream could be achieved. Sigh. For now I could only pray. I'll do my best effort to save some money first. God help me!
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